Good evening, my handful of followers. I am procrastinating heavily right now, so bear with me.

First thing’s first: I feel like I have to start growing up a lot in a very short amount of time. Looking back at my tumblr, my posts feel too high school-ish. I need to get my act together and start speaking volumes. This blog was correctly titled Writer’s Block. I barely wrote anything worth reading. That will change soon.

Second, I have come to a rather somber conclusion about myself. I was speaking with a friend, or speaking at her, and trying to pin point why I have not been succeeding with “the ladies” as of recently. It was a stream of consciousness rant about how “annoying” girls are, and how “stupid” this whole relationship thing is, when it hit me. I am not what girls my age are looking for.

I’m a 20 year old in college. Girls my age are looking for “excitement.” They want “the bad boy,” which is a persona that I will never fill. I feel that, between the ages of 19 and 23(the age range I am targeting), girls want to fill that desire for excitement with a guy that keeps them guessing, or sometimes, with the few strange girls, a guy that treats them like dirt. The “bad boy” simply displays the aggressive alpha male personality, which can be perceived as strong, will tell the girls that he can protect them, and also gives that tiny subconscious hint that your children will come out strong if you decide to mate.

As time goes on, and the biological clocks start ticking, and girls start thinking more about starting a family and the like, those bad boys are going to seem less attractive, and quite possibly, the gentler, more sensitive guys like myself will seem more attractive because we display the nurturing quality that they seek in a potential “baby daddy,” for lack of a less ghetto term.

So I’m stuck with a choice. Either start hurting some poor, defenseless lady’s feelings and be the bad boy, or just accept my fate and continue to enjoy the cob web filled, dusty, unvisited linen closet that is my love life until some compatible lady comes waltzing into my life, eager to be showered with love and affection. I think I will chose the latter, because there is a chance that I am meant to be single right now. I’m having a hard time juggling my own life; who knows what would happen if I through a girl into the mix.

Last point, which might dispute my first point, depending on what I pick up for my future posts, is what I plan on doing with this tumblr. I created it so I can write, right? Well, I plan on submitting certain works that I have to create for school, and on my spare time, as well as any life lessons that I so happen to pick up that I think are worth sharing with, quite possibly, the one or two people that will actually read this. I know one person definitely does, because she posted a question on my formspring the last time I disappeared, which was heartwarming, since I have never met her in person. She is quite the lovely lady. This one’s dedicated to you. My only question is, and feel free to answer this, do you know if I’m talking to you?